


Oblivion

by rockhoochie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depressed Dean Winchester, Drug Abuse, Gen, Heroin, Needles, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 20:59:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16961349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockhoochie/pseuds/rockhoochie
Summary: Dean tries to deal with the after-effects of being a demon the only way he knows how.





	Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> **Reader has been killed by demon!Dean and is only referenced**
> 
> This was written for a "less than 500 words" angst challenge. My prompt was 'Drugs'
> 
> *I do not in any way condone the use of illegal drugs. If you or someone you love has a substance abuse problem, please visit [Random Acts Crisis Support Network](https://www.randomacts.org/crisis-support-network/#need-help) to find help and resources available in your area.
> 
> I love hearing from you! Thank you so much for reading.

Dean hadn't needed sleep when he was a demon.

Now that he'd been cured, he craved it more than anything. 

It only came in waves, pulling him under for a fitful hour or two, drowning him in nightmares, then catapulting him back into consciousness, calling out for Y/N.

But she was gone. Only the ghastly echoes of her pleas, screams, and final hiss of breath remained, amplified by his gut-wrenching guilt.

Dean sat up, placing his bare feet on the floor and his hands over his ears. He needed that noise to stop, needed her to go away…

He went to his dresser, pulling the top drawer open. Poking his finger into the small hole in the back corner, he lifted the false bottom.

He snatched up the small case he’d hidden there and made sure his door was locked.

With deadpan, mechanical motions he poured the powder on the spoon, added water, flicked his lighter.

He concentrated on the amber-colored promise of relief and false consolation that liquified before his eyes.

 _This will make her go away,_ he assured himself.

He drew it into the syringe.

Dean bit down on the end of his leather belt wrapped tightly around his arm and sunk the thin needle into an eager, blue vein.

_ Just a few more seconds and it will all...go...away… _

And then his eyes rolled back as he let himself fall into the closest thing resembling oblivion he could get.

But she was still there, holding him, wrapping him in her warm arms while the bittersweet memories haunted him.

How her lips felt on his. The way she laughed, smiled, and sang his name in the throes of passion. The spark in her eyes that glittered when she grinned or blazed when she scowled. Her sweet scent and soft skin...Christ, she was so soft, the First Blade had slid into her gut so easily…

Dean fumbled to wrap up his bicep again, blinking tears away, sticking the needle back home.

Finally, glorious nothing.

***

Something cracked hard against his cheek.

“ _ DEAN!! _ ”

He coughed and spat, the sour taste of bile coating his tongue. He opened his eyes to a pool of vomit and his brother looming over him.

“‘m sorry Sam...”

Sam grabbed his brother, pulling him off the bed and onto his feet, leading him to his room.

Dean fell on Sam's bed, curling tightly into himself.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Sam seethed.

Dean closed his eyes and smacked his lips. His mouth was so dry. “‘bout Y/N. Everything. Just wanted quiet. Sleep. Just want it all to stop, Sammy.”

Sam had seen his brother beaten, bruised, bloodied...hell he’d seen him dead. But never broken.

He sat at his desk, watching the rise and fall of Dean's chest. He had to fix this. But for now, he'd just make sure he was safe.

For now, he’d let him sleep.

 

_**~FIN** _

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on [Tumblr!](https://rockhoochie.tumblr.com/)


End file.
